It's Apple Juice Is It?
by anastomosis
Summary: A lying Yuuma? A flirty Osamu? Chika is roasting people! What happened? It's chaos everywhere!
**A/N: First one –shot. Just read it…... Characters belong to Daisuke Ashihara**

/

 _Tamakoma. 1:00 p.m_.

"Ah, Kuga." said Jin.

"Yes, Jin?" stated Yuuma.

"Before, you go to Border, don't be picking up strange liquids you find randomly."

Yuuma duck-faced. "Oh, okay… "

"Come on Kuga! We have to go now," yelled Osamu.

"Oh, Osamu is calling me. I see you later, Jin."

Jin watched as Tamakoma 2 left to go to Border. He warned Yuuma so, there shouldn't any problems for them and Border. There was only one in a trillion chances that future will happen, right?

/

Jin, you fucked up.

/

 _Border Headquarters. 2:00 p.m._

I'm thirsty thought Kuga as he sat with Osamu and Chika.

"Yo, Osamu, Chika I'm thirsty so I'm going to get a drink.

"Oh, okay," responded Chika. Osamu was too busy planning out strategies to respond.

Chika watched as Yuuma went to a nearby vending machine. "Ah, he forgot to bring his coins."

/

Yuuma stood there looking at the choices when he realized he forgot some change to buy a drink. When, he was going to go back to his team, he encountered Izumi carrying a box of apple juice boxes.

"Oh, Izumi-sempai."

"Chibi. What are you doing?" asked Izumi.

"Hmm, I wanted a drink, but I forgot some coins."

"Oh, then I give you some of Tachikawa's apple juice boxes."

"Is that alright?"

"Yeah, I wanted to get back at him for making me get his stuff anyway. Here, take three for Osamu and Chika too."

"Thank you very much, Izumi-sempai."

"No problem."

What Izumi didn't realize that Tachikawa stored some alcohol in some of the apple juice boxes and he somehow he gave three boxes with alcohol stored inside. From, that point on Border agents received a grim reminder.

/

"I'm back," said Yuuma.

"Oh, welcome back. Where did you get the juice?" questioned Chika.

"I got them from Izumi-sempai and he gave us all some."

"That is very nice of him."

So, Yuuma gave one to Osamu, who was still working, and Chika. They all drank it. Osamu, was too busy to notice the taste of it. Chika thought it tasted different but, she didn't want to be rude so, she kept drinking it. Yuuma thought this is how apple juice usually tastes like. A few minutes, they passed out because it was too much for their systems.

Soon enough, two C-rankers passed by.

"Is that Tamakoma 2? Why are they asleep?"

"Should we wake them up or call for help?"

"Nah, they should be fine."

/

You two also fucked up.

/

 _2:45 p.m._

After 45 minutes they woke up but, with different objectives in mind other than working on strategies.

"I feel like I should insult someone," giggled Chika as she ran off to find a victim.

"That person is hot," said Osamu as he went over to Kitora.

"Shit, I should tell a bunch of lies to everyone about everyone," laughed Kuga.

/

Chika was walking around when she encountered Kazama and his squad.

"Hey, Kazama how old are you?" asked Chika as she burst into a fit of laughter.

"? …I'm 21 years old."

"So, you can drink alcohol, right?"

"…Yes."

"You know alcohol doesn't solve any problems."

"Yes, I know that." stated Kazama as he started to suspect something was wrong with her.

Chika laughed. "But, then again, neither does milk."

"…" "…." "…." "…."

It took a while for Chika's roast to sink into the minds of the Kazama squad. Then, several things happened at once Kikuchihara spat out his drink, Utagawa held back Kazama when he took out his Scorpion, Mikami tried not to laugh and Chika took out her phone as she air horned them and then ran away.

Calm, down Kazama! She just a kid!"

"A kid that just insulted my height."

"Damn, that was good roast," coughed Kikuchihara.

Mikami just burst into laughter.

/

Kitora wasn't expecting anything when Osamu came up to her.

"Oh, Osamu what's wrong."

"….. Can I punch you in the face…?"

"What!? No!"

"….With my lips?"

"…. What…? Uh, ummm…." Kitora spluttered. What the fuck was wrong with him.

"My mom thinks I'm gay, can you prove her wrong? If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer." Osamu said a lot of pick-up lines that flustered her so she punched him to make him stop.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" yelled Kitora.

"Oh, there is other people I have to flirt with now, I see you later cute-cumber, said Osamu as he walked away to flirt with the Nasu squad.

Kitora tried not to gag as she went back to her squad room.

/

Yuuma walked to the Solo Rank Wars area. He thought perfect.

"Hey, you," he whispered to one C-ranker.

"Yes?"

"Did you know Kido is a go-go dancer?"

"….."

"It's true. I saw it myself. Also, it seems that Arashiyama is gay for Jin. Oh, let's not forget about Kageura who murdered a couple of people. Oh yeah! Inukai is actually a girl and ….."

A few minutes passed as the C-ranker rushed away to tell about Yuuma's senseless lies to his friends and his friends told their other friends about it. He laughed maniacally.

/

Chika was giggling when she encountered Ninomiya.

"Hey, hey!

Ninomiya, turned around to face her. "What is it?"

"I heard you think that I'm weak, you damn fuck boy."

"….Yes, and don't call me that."

"I see… Man, I may like to shop, but I'm not buying of your bullshit!"

"B-bullshit!?"

"Yeah! Bullshit!"

"W-well it's not my fault you made a mistake in the Rank War when you shot at them and missed because you were scared!"

Chika sighed. "If you really wanted to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents."

"…"

Chika air horned him and ran off while laughing.

/

 _Tamakoma. 3:15 p.m._

Jin's phone rang.

"It's the talented elite at your service! What do you need?"

"It's Shinoda. Come to headquarters immediately!"

"Oh, hey Shinoda-san. What's wrong?"

"Your kouhais are going rampant!"

"How, so?"

"Let's see…. Amatori started insulting everyone making some of them cry. Mikumo is flirting with everyone and Kuga told lies about everyone."

"…. I'll be there right away."

In the end, Tamakoma 2 had to be knocked out because they couldn't be controlled.

/

When the trio finally woke up they complained of a headache.

"That's called a hangover." Reiji stated.

"What were you thinking drinking alcohol!?" questioned Konami.

"That was alcohol?" murmured Osamu.

"I see. You didn't know it was alcohol," said Rindou.

"Who gave you it?' said Jin.

"Izumi-sempai gave us the drinks but he said it was Tachikawa's," informed Yuuma.

"… Well, it seems that we need to have a 'friendly' talk with him" said Jin.

/

In Tachikawa's home, he sneezed. Tachikawa felt like he shouldn't go to Border tomorrow for some reason.

….

The next day, Tamakoma 1 and Jin went to his house to beat the fuck out of him.

/

 **A/N: I don't know what pushed me to write this. I wanted to contribute to this fandom but I write this…. But, then I realize that I will probably write more shit stories so I feel a little bit better. Poor Tachikawa! I feel bad for making my favourite trio drunk. (No regrets though) Anyway, I hope you enjoy my first one-shot.**


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